Wow. There are a lot of changes happening since my last post.
Lyric, who is now 12, and seems to have added puberty to all her other challenges, has been having almost daily meltdowns. She’s 75% impossible at home and taking it with her to school too. Since her birthday, she’s been to the counselor 3 times, the psychiatrist 3 times, and I talk frequently to the receptionist at the office. They’ve raised one medicine twice and changed another, and she is still so hard to deal with. She was suspended last week for 2 days, and they didn’t even do that until the 3rd referral in 4 days (with a weekend in between). Everyday I find more patience than I ever thought I could ever have. I know there’s not a magic pill – but something to help her make better choices for her behavior would be GREAT! I don’t know what we’re going to do with her this summer. As she is now, there is no way I can enroll her in any summer program – it just wouldn’t be fair to any one else – she would be in constant conflict and miserable and so would the teachers and other kids.
Kaitlyn, who is also 12 right now (she and her sister are 10 ½ months apart – I think they call that Irish twins), has moved back with her mom. She just got back from her trip on Saturday and asked to go to her mom’s that night (she would have went right after I picked her up but her mom wasn’t home). She didn’t tell me about her trip – and I had been the one to make the commitment to get her to Washington DC with her 6th grade class – her mom wouldn’t help her with the fund raiser’s she needed to do – and she didn’t say good-bye. I’ve know she was going to her mom’s for awhile now, but it’s hard not to get a good-bye or a thank you. It was her idea to come to our house because over Christmas her mother never even called for 2 weeks to say hi, and she felt like her mom was always making her do all the chores and taking care of her 2 year old brother, but she’s had enough distance and enough of the rules at our house that mom’s sounds better. She and Lyric rarely get along, and with the challenges right now with Lyric, it’s probably better that we’ll be able to focus on Lyric, but I’m going to miss her. I tried so hard, and I know someday she’ll probably say I wasn’t so bad, but boy, oh boy, being a step mom is hard!
On top of that, my daughter Kayla, who is 16, is going to live with her dad after school gets out. I can hardly stand to think about it. I love her dad and his wife, and we all get along so well and I know I’ll get to see her, but frankly, she doesn’t want to be at home because she can’t get along with Lyric or David. I don’t know what to do most of the time. I can’t make them like each other. Believe me, I’ve tried! She told my mom that 3 months wasn’t enough time away from Lyric so she’s planning on staying the whole next school year too, and maybe even her senior year. I’m not ready to let go yet, and I cry every time I try to talk to her about it, but I can’t make her stay, she’s miserable.
And, even more than that, my daughter Tiffany, who is 21 and pregnant, is moving in at the end of June to save up money for her and her boyfriend to move in together. She’s sick all the time, and probably won’t be able to work much. I’m so worried about her, and especially what effect the chaos in my house could have on her and the baby.
My husband also has ADD and is not taking his medicine and I have trouble getting him to follow through on things. We just had our 1st anniversary and I didn’t even get a card. Not even an eCard. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised though, I didn’t get one for my birthday, Valentine’s day, or Mother’s day either.
My parents, who are my rock, left for their summer trip the day before my anniversary and I miss them terribly, and June 5th I will have the third surgery on my left hand. Luckily, I’m right handed, but geez, I’ve had a hemangioma removed, carpal tunnel surgery, and I’m part of the 20% who with have the hemangioma grow back, lucky me. It hurts all the time so I’m going to get this one removed and hope I don’t ever get one again!
So, all that sounds pretty miserable, and these days, I feel that way most of the time, but I am getting brand new furniture next week so I’m excited about that, but mostly I just go moment by moment. A really great thing is the friends that I have that always listen even though it must seem to them all I do is complain. I’m not the same person right now, but I’m in there – and like I tell myself ALL the time, I am a BLESSED child of God – Even with all the stuff going on, God always provides us with what we need – money, patience, peace. God does not give us more than we can handle.
PS. Leah, I saw my blog on your list and you provided me the impetuous to make this entry. Thanks :o) I visit your blog every day too to see how you and your family are doing.
1 comment:
Kelley, I'm so sorry things are rough right now. You're right, step parenting is TOUGH WORK! It is FAR more difficult than parenting your biological kids. The hardest part for me was having adolescents and teens throw everything I'd done for them in my face and tell me how much they hate me. But guess what? With the oldest, who's now 22, when he comes to town he doesn't stay with his dad, he stays with ME and Dean! Everything you do for the kids will come back to you in the end...it might take years...but the reward will be there. Hang in there! You know, when my son was Lyric's age, we were able to get an in-home family therapist who made weekly visits. Worked with us as a family, with my son alone, and with me alone. It was well worth it.
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