Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Why am I going if I don't have a RAD?

This was my response (with a little editing) to one of the mom's who was genuinely curious and didn't make me feel like I didn't belong (which I have been afraid some of you would feel). I thought maybe someone else would be curious too, so here it is.

Back when Corey was first mentioning it on her blog I saw it. I was getting ready, or had maybe just gone I don’t remember which, to Rachel’s to do face painting and henna for her kid’s birthday party. I had been reading Rachel’s blog and really admired her and how much she loved her kids and how much grace she showed through all the challenges with them. I do have a step daughter who is bi-polar and ADHD – she also has some BIG mother issues – and I despaired of being able to live with her again. I asked my husband to go stay with his mom for a few weeks in Dec 2008 because I needed some distance from her. My kids had not prepared me for how she was at all and I had turned into someone I didn’t know. My doctor told me I was killing myself and I had to do something. I was ready to walk in front of a bus just so I didn’t have to go home to that anymore. She had “chased” both my kids out of my home because they couldn’t stand her. Reading Rachel’s blog and then all of you, helped me “see” her differently and LOVE Lyric and not her behavior. My husband is still living with his  mom since Dec 2008 and he comes to visit (his mom had health problems while he was there and he stayed to take care of her and her boyfriend who is also not very healthy), but I believe I’m in a place where I could live with Lyric now. There are lots of things that have happened over the two years but recently things have been happening where I can see that she might actually be able to be a productive member of society someday and I want them to come home. I don’t know if I would have reached my new way of seeing without you and all the other RAD mom’s. I told Rachel that part of what helped me is realizing things could be so much worse and if her kids could find so much healing with all they had been through there is hope for Lyric. Her mom is a piece of work and I don’t have time to go into it here, but many of Lyric’s issues stem from her. So, when I saw what Corey was doing I emailed her and asked if I could come over and do henna for you all. I just wanted to be part of lifting you up while you guys are there. In talking with her she said I could come stay too and I figured that I could henna more ladies that way. I’ve kind of felt like I didn’t belong but I’m really excited to be a part of it. Poor Jennie, our house mom, gets an email periodically with me asking if anybody has said anything about me not belonging. She reassures me. I really can’t wait to meet all of you. You and all the other mom’s amaze me!

6 comments:

Tara - SanitySrchr said...

Honey, I don't have a RADish either, but I am surely going. It seems as if you and I have a lot in common where it's my step-children that are struggling (ADHD, PTSD, and BiPolar), and their mother is a real "treat" to deal with.

http://sanitysrchr-shortbus.blogspot.com/

Mom to Four said...

looking forward to meeting and 'living' with you for a few days :-)
and coming with some art on my body-a first

The Accidental Mommy said...

No, not everyone going has a radish. Actually for a while there, a few people were going that did not have children at all (I think they cancelled though). The idea, I think, was for all moms to get together and get some re-charging.

I love the previous post where you talk about the respect you have for Corey and what some have been through. Beautifully said.

The Accidental Mommy said...

ps, henna is so cool!

Story of our Life said...

Well babe,
I had no clue you didn't have a child w/RAD or weren't a step mom or any of the crazy crap this is all about.

I'm glad you came.
I'm glad I was blessed to meet you.
I'm glad...you came into my life!!

it wasn't until AFTER I had my Henna and the next day when my housemates were commenting on how pretty it was that I learned you were there...just to be a blessing to us. And that my friend...you were.

_ said...

I'm so glad that I'm in your house this year!